Saturday, December 17, 2005


I met Ricky last December 8, in a no-extraordinary-way on my way to school. Ricky, a fair-skinned and chubby man, was seated beside me. He wore a blue shirt and a cream pants. He had with him a big black traveling bag and a hardbound blue book, which he held tightly on his lap. He was simply staring at the window while I was busy reading my Group Dynamics notes. Isn’t it obvious that I had a good look at him? But things are about to change. The bus we were riding made a halt at Brgy. Biga, Sto. Tomas, Batangas and load the 17 passengers of a tourist bus with an engine problem. My God! It took them a decade to transfers to the bus I took. I, then, can’t help myself but expressed my annoyance.

“Ano ba yan, ang tagal!”

I was startled when the man beside me asked
“Ano ba oras ng time mo?”

“11:30 po”

He looked at his wrist watch and told me
“10:10 pa lang.”

The incident started our conversation. We talked about Fist Asia Institute, the advantage of studying in the suburbs, Psychology and Education as a course, his career shift from being a teacher to being a police officer in Muntinlupa, taking up Law, Philippine Military Academy, his ROTC experiences, my future plans and his soul-searching.

I was unable to study my notes but still received a reward—lessons from a total stranger.

“O malapit ka na.” He uttered when we reached (Daniel Mercado Medical Center) DMMC

I stood and expressed my pleasantries
“Nice meeting you sir!”

He waved his right hand and smiled. I walked to the door and finally get off the bus.

I honestly can’t picture his face, but the thoughts he shared lingers.

I particularly can’t forget his compliments for me
“…may depth kang kausap, kanina ko pa napapansin…”

While reminiscing this experience makes me smile. Maybe because it reminds me of a good-looking man. No! its because of the incident itself—my annoyance started a pleasant conversation worth remembering.

Thursday, December 08, 2005


A sponge is one of man's creations that I admire most. I can't help myself but wonder on how its pores absorb and hold a volume of liquid despite its inferior size. It amazes me on how it does not erode or broke into pieces immediately.

There are individuals that are like the sponge. They are the so-called shock absorber. They are those who can bear and stay composed even at the most annoying and depressing situations they are involved, even if not by choice.

Reasons may not be easily grab to answer my query, but feelings tells me otherwise. I am starting to figure out that one's sensitivity has something to do with this.

It is quite apparent that the more the person do a lot of listening than talking, the more he is good at being a constituent in the catharsis of the other. This process also involves great understanding and patience.

Correct me if I am wrong. I perceived that being a sponge is a sort of virtue. It is human nature to be a sponge but others are well nurtured to be better at it.

I have an experience which is related to this the day before yesterday. I tried to be a good sponge but, I guess, I failed. While a superior of mine is talking about certain things, I entertained the thoughts that I shouldn't be here...This is not my business… Yes! My presence was felt but my thoughts are wandering elsewhere. Now, I honestly felt and feel guilty about it. No one is to be blamed here but me and my stubbornness.

On the other hand, I was and am overwhelm for the trust that is being given to me—since not all is given the chance to be given such. This is a consolation worth remembering on an otherwise disappointing day for me. Imagine, I wasn’t able to watch the BSCS/IT versus BSN volleyball men match…Nanghihinayang talaga ako! I missed half of my life! Haaaaaaaay buhay….

Thursday, October 06, 2005

From a thankful heart...

I am thankful for the times...
I see my crushes.
I meet my acquaintances.
I am with my peers.
I spent with my intimate friends.
I have with my family.

I am thankful whenever...

I can smile.
I have the guts to say what I feel.
I can control my emotions.
I can say nothing but compliments.

I am thankful whenever...
I can think of nothing but good memories.
I can be no one else but my self.
I don't need to pretend I am fine.
I really feel good and healthy.
I have good appetite to eat heavy lunch.

I am thankful when...
I can say to myself that I can do it.
I don't feel intimidated with Christopher Porto.
I can share my thoughts and learn.
I can give a part of myself in a work.
I feel I am needed and loved.

I am thankful that...
I seldom get sick.
I can assure myself that it is only psychosomatic.
I can consult a doctor who can cure my ails.
i can breathe without difficulty.
I can wake up every morning to make a fresh and new beginning.

I am thankful that God gives me a life to live!

Friday, September 30, 2005

"If I am going to be a material in your bedroom, what would I be and why?"

Marie Grace sent me this message which is actually a chain message. I replied to her implying that she's the socks which I wore every night to keep me warm all through out the night. She texted back to say how much she appreciate my reply.

I then passed the message to most of my Smart subscriber friends. Proud to say, I received heartwarming messages.

Loveleen texted that I am the lampshade in her room. I just can't remember her reason.

I am July's alarm clock.The rationale is crystal clear---I am apt to be her minute minder.

Emy texted that I am her Calendar of activities so someone would remind her of her daily to do's. There's no reason for her to miss any appointment. The irony here is that I also tend to forget some of my commitments; which I am working out not to dominate me.

Cristy texted that I am the glow-in-the-dark stars and angels in her room, so that she'll be able to feel my presence whenever she stare on the ceiling while she's still wide awake at night.

I was and is deeply touch by each symbolism mentioned above... I really am! But I am not contented, not with their text messages but with the quantity of replies that I received.

I also want to hear from You. I hope you won't mind spent a couple of minutes to answer this: "What bedroom material am I for you?"

Friday, September 23, 2005

Strawberry-filled biscuit

I really love strawberry-filled biscuit--- not mention here the brand--- especially when I have a high level of appetite. I usually eat it in small bite-sizes. It seems that I am having a novena while I slowly savor the pleasure of eating a stawberry-filled biscuit. I do this kind of ritual whenever and wherever as long as it is my all-time favorite that I am eating.

September 6 is one of my low appetite day. As expected I don't have the interest to eat a lot. I skipped breakfast, not by choice, simply because I don't feel like eating. I felt that my tummy is full, though its not. On my way to school, I dropped by the Honeybee store and bought two strawberry-filled biscuit. I ate one pack on the bus and kept the other on my bag. Nothing changed, the biscuit is delicious. I was just unable to enjoy eating it.

I also wasn't able to eat much during lunch, though the meal I ordered is really tempting. The food was left almost untouched. (May God forgive me already for wasting food.) I bought two packs of soda crackers---handsa off to the brand---on my way back to school. I ate one pack while walking and set aside the other one on my bag.

One o' clock. World Literature class. I directly went to my seat. I then opened the soda cracker when Dhomz saw me on the act. He asked me for a piece. Instead of giving him a piece of the soda cracker, I offered him the Strawberry-filled biscuit inside my bag. Porto was looking while me and Dhomz are into business. They talked a while after I hand to the latter the biscuit. Then they asked Ms. Fiestada if they can go to the C.R. Unfortunately their request was denied. So they ate the biscuit secretly while their heads are already armchair- level. I can't help myself but draw a smile on my face. I am not sure if I thought then that they're making fun of their situation or they are being resourceful just to feed their hungry pinworms. The said incident, or should I say anecdote, is something that made me see things lightly on an otherwise bad eating day for me...

The story, however didn't stop as we are dismissed form class. On September 11, I had a dream which involves my favorite strawberry-filled biscuit, Dhomz and Porto. Things evolve on eating the said biscuit because the two wasn't able to eat lunch. Ms. Fiestada caught them while eating and asked them who gave them the biscuit. The two pin-pointed me...the hell are they! I can vividly see how I blushed on my dream. Who wouldn't if eyes are all set on you?

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Iam back to business

I arrived at around two o' clock, went upstairs to look for Ercick Savadera to remit the Scholar society's raffle promo ticket that was assigned to me together with the stubs. I easily found him so as the other first year studes at the library corridor. To my surprise I received warm congratulatory greetings. They informed me that I won second place in the 5's essay writng contest. I am glad and contented.

Now that question that baffles me is whether I will be back to business or not.

Any suggestion?

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

25 on the 25th

Jen and I talked about her birthday on October 25 and her Eyeball with Brady on that same day. I listened first then gave some insights, which I prefer not to write here anymore to respect her privacy. Anyways our chat, even though the same topic as before since June 28, was lively and still flicker interest in me. I don't need to tell how hooked Jen is since it is her lovelife that i am refering to.

I love our exchanged of thoughts and enjoyed walking. Ooopppsss! We gaited, that is something I should emphasize.

We kept on talking and talking and talking even when our mouth were full of spaghetti, Hawaiian pan pizzza, and Garlic bread. U huh, we dined at Greenwich. Our order number was 25. I glanced at some one 25 times ( Iam not kidding). But we stayed there longer than 25 minutes.

July 25 then is the same routinary tuesday that offered something different for me, and I hope to Jen too. ^_^

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Its been so long

“What time is it Emy?”
Emy took her cellular phone and said “5:18pm.”
I tapped her arm chair and uttered “I like to eat kikiam. It’s been so long since I last ate some of it.”
“So do I.”
she replied.

Silence followed. We were both absorbed by the explanations given by our professor o Article III of the Philippine Constitution, attentive and eager on every minute detail about the Bill of rights.

Then the class was dismissed. Students evaporated either in pairs or in groups. All AB Psychology students went down stairs, the girls directly to the ladies room while Hanzel went to the gents’.

I tried to convince Emy, Jen and Leiz to have our merienda before we go home but they declined. I then shrugged and abandoned the idea since it was drizzling.

Jen and I left the two who are bound for Lipa city. We met Chester on the way. He informed us that he’s going to accompany somebody on the way home.
“So that’s why you’re happy, huh!” I concluded. He smiled then went his way.

I once again persuaded jen to eat kikiam at Tanauan crossing before we part ways. She gave in this time. We were chatting while walking and were about to cross the street when Jen halted. I also stopped and looked sideways to her.

“Sherwin!” she called. The man did pause with a big smile pasted on his face which made his slit eyes too small.

Sherwin asked where Jen is going. The latter did not answer the former’s query but rather invited him to join the two of us. He refused and insisted that they take the tricycle in going home.

With out any second thought, I told Jen to go home with Sherwin at that very moment.
“It’s been so long since you last saw each other.” I added to let them go.

Before doing so, Jen introduced his friend and I to each other. We exchanged glances and smiles. Sherwin waved his left hand. I did not, or should I say, I could not because I carried loads on both hands. Then and there I told myself “Oh my God, he got expressive eyes. Very attractive gateway to one’s soul.”

I turned my back to them and found my way to the kikiam stall where I figured out that Sherwin looks like Brenan of PPS. I am wondering if he also sings well. I’ll definitely find it out. Soon… Iam hoping we’ll exchange pleasantries next time we met.

Alexander the great

It was a bright and sunny morning on July 14. I took the bus on my way to school with my brother. We were both searching for a vacant seat and I was lucky to find one before my brother did. The man seated on my left carried his bag then asked me if I am going to school. I answered yes then looked at him. He was blind! He then asked my name and I asked his. He is Alexander.

Alexander is as big as the 27th US president, William Howard Taft and is 21 years old. He told me that he was blind since birth. He is the eldest of three siblings and the only single and able. He travels every day to and fro Pasay city where he work as a massager. He is residing with his parents at Lucena city. The proximity of his workplace is never a hindrance, he said. What is important for him is that he is well-rewarded by what he loves doing.

Between each questions and answers, He keep on telling me that he'll pray for me. He strongly believe I'll make my dreams come true. He uttered that all I need is to pray to God.

He really is great, right? Honestly, I was not able to tell him goodluck while we were seated side by side, but I was able to silently pray to God for his safety and happiness.

I am pretty sure that the day I have with Alexander would forever be my source of inspiration and strength for reasons I still find ahrd to grasp.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Thoughts to ponder

A woman beside me in the jeepney bound for Tanauan have a book in her lap. I intently looked at it with much eagerness. The book is all about breads and bakery.

The book rung an interest in me but the quotation written on its backcover stuck me more. Here it is " A life without mistakes is a life without lessons." It made me think then ponder even after I took the bus in Turbina. I thought that we do learn from our errs. Nothing, then, is to be ashamed of whenever we make mistakes. There really are lessons behind in every mistakes we make.

The book reminded me of Oscar Wilde's quotation " Experience is the name we give to our mistakes." I have pondered this thought for more than twice before. I expounded it the way I interpreted the quotation above.

Tell me if I am just taking the two quotations as a confirmation bias, but I think that the purpose of the existence of mistakes or errs is to inculcate certain lesson in each of us.

I hope I put this thought into a piece just on time. Is my realization too late? Hope not.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Smile keeps on smiling

I always look forward for tuesdays and thursday since the start of this semester, pulling every hour and boredly counting every minute until its 2:30. Oui! I do love the subject Humanities and Art appreciation not because it interest me but rather the ambiance make me still.

I admit it is sir Smile's smiles that I do love. It is his smiles that made me bear One-and -a half hours of non-stop discussion. His smiles alleviate the boredom that gradually engulf me during lectures.

I simly love his smiles. I feel light and at peace. His smiles seem to be a supplement, or shouild I say brain booster, that warmly remind each of his student that Hum Art is a piece of cake(though it is not). His smiles, I guess are better to be encouragement-giver.

His smiles are Contagious. I cannot rememver any meeting when I stepped out of the room after class without a smile on my lips. Mind you, I still am able to smile even whem I was suffering form dysmenorrhea.

Sir Smile did not showed on July 14. I heard that he attended the ordination of one of his friends. I was not able to attend the class on the 21st when I attended the PMHA. I really was disappointed those days because the source of the sunshine in my during weekdays was out of reach. Then I would surely missed his class on August 4 because of the scheduled field trip. *gggrrr!!!*

Duh! I missed and will miss his smiles. Anyway, the thought that Sir Smile keeps on smiling is enough to leave a smile on my lips and too much to make me happy as I keep going. ^_^

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

long distance relationship

July 7, 2005 5:30- 7pm Social Psychology class
Ms. Ann discussed Self- Knowledge or the better understanding of oneself. Self knowledge is a three-fold process which include Explaining your behavior, Predicting your behavior, and Predicting your feelings. The foremost requires introspection or self examination including the past experiences. This enables an individual to predict his behavior and feelings. I perceive process as a pragmatism of the Stimulus- Response theory and of Insight learning.
Her examples were touching, real and moving which made the whole class so attentive and inquisitive.
I took the quarter of a yellow paper inserted in Jen's notebook. One afternoon is written on the left portion which gave me the idea to start a fun game commonly called dugtungan. It is actually more than a game since it reflect our respective beliefs.
Here it goes:
One afternoon... Naglecture c Ms. aane. She emphasized that she, herself is against long term relationship. & I don't want that too. Same here!!! Long term b? dba sbi nya long distance? Any way, as much as possible, I don't want them also. I agree on that. I don't want long distance relatonship " mahirap na kc e, baka maagaw pa SAYANg NAMAN." *hehehe!* I agree w/ long distance rel. kung talagang mahal mo ang isang tao gagawin mo ang lahat para mag- grow ang rel nyo. Ay, takot ako baka kc sa malyo mag-work c Marvin. masaya kc cguro naman mas marami na sya mapapkain sken *hehehe!* pero depende un sa tao basta mahal mo at may trust kau sa isa't isa wla cguro masyado problems, kung iiwan nya ko aba gago sya ang ganda ko kaya. *wahahaha* skn naman it doesn't matter kung magkalapit kau o magkalayo eh, what rili matters eh yung love & trust 4 h oder. basta tama na nga muna yang "love-love" na yan... aral muna tayo...*hehehe!*
Here is the list of the respondent on the dugtungan game( respondent daw o, as if experiment) Jen Carandang, Renin Lagrio, Emy Lanto, Hanzel Pagcaliwangan, Maricel Herrera, Sarah Magnaye, Leizel Andal, July baltazar, and Yen De Guia.
See, we're all friends yet have different views. I guess this make our relationship grow stronger....Our opposing views tightened the bond we have.

Thursday, July 07, 2005


I hate the existence of tears
they only tell my lost battles,
narrate my sorrows and defeats,
as they roll and fall on my cheeks
when my heart is already in split.

I hate the existence of tears
they let me keep within a sin,
which is to dwell and tightly hold
all the bitter things I have
when somehting I cannot burst out.

I hate the existence of tears
they remind me of what I've lost,
Instill in me that I won't grow,
that I am an underrated,
though I have given my best.

I hate the existence of tears
they confine me to reminisce,
which make me too melancholic,
and rarely to be nostalgic
ambivalent, I am indeed.

I hate the existence of tears
because whenever they are here
I cannot help myself but be
one who have two contrasting traits:
Someone who cries, yet hate those tears!

- This poem was written on May 5, 2002, Sunday, between one and Three o' clock in the afternoon

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Again...but for a while

Schedule for the day: pay a visit to the internet café.

While walking down the street I saw a familiar face. I winked twice to make sure that I'm not fooling myself. The man smiled then tried to hid his face. But it was too late, I already smiled back as I remember the name behind the face. I finally recognized him. He is no other than but Kuya Boyet, the mail carrier in our place whom I have worked with at the Calamba Post Office for 15 days last summer (From April 20- May 11 excluding Local and National holidays).

I stopped by the house where he is is standing still. He's waiting for the man to return his logbook of registered mails. He smiled once again, then finally asked my schooling---duh! he asked how's my studies without even bothering to ask my condition. I am honest to tell that things are well, good and rewarding except for the reality that I came home by 10 in the evening on Mondays and fridays. He frowned after hearing my schedule. I sigh.

When I asked how things are going on his life he just smiled. He mentioned no comments at all.

To beat the dead air, I told him that I have a classmate in my Humanities and Arts appreciation course that resembles him. This time He laughed. I didn't for the man I'm refering to keeps on throwing to me naughty lines, so as his buddies ( I'm refering to Benedict Carandang). This is another story.

He asked me where I'm going to and offered me a ride on his motor bike which I gladly accepted. On our way to internet café, I noticed that he keep on noddding to those who came our way. I was puzzled at first before I finally realized that he know those people because of his work. I guess my CPU processed too slow that time. Do I need to upgrade it? I think so. He informed me that Kuya Jun is a year older yesterday. I told him that I know. He turned back for a while then asked me how. I told him that I ask that stuff while I am still working at the Post Office.

I finally asked him----mark my word, its asked not commanded--- to halt upon seeing the sign. So I guess in every meeting there really is parting. But all are worth it... all to be kept as good memoties. Even tough it is just a meeeting Again... but for a while.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Hitting two birds with one stone

I'm aware that PCs are capable of multi-tasking which makes work of users a lot easier. It's an advantage which seems to be heaven for us. However I don't find it this way at all times. There are times that this feature of computers make me more nuts. Why? I simply can't concentrate. I lose my focus from the more important task. I'm tempted to do other stuff. Okay! okay! its me who is at the loose. I should admit to myself that I can't prove that "Hitting two birds with one stone" is possible---well ofcourse i'm referring to my case.