My long lost friends have the same first question... and it annoys me.

I always recieved the same FIRST question, whenever I meet long lost friends. Not that I'm unhappy to see them, their first question just never fail to get into my nerves.

Yes, I understand that they want to "catch up" on the latest things about me (ofcourse, and vice versa). Our exchange of stories help us draw and keep our friendship intact.

But the always FIRST question thrown to me "Hows your love life?" annoys me.

Can't they wait for me to open up about this matter? (As IF I have something exciting to share about my love life when its actually just the absence of it?).

Okay, I admit that the question itself and the manner by which my friends ask me about it aren't the ones that make me blush and wish to simply disappear. It is rather the fact that I do not have any thing to say about my so-called love life because there's none. Plain and simple.

However, I am easily relieved of annoyance. I give all the credits to my friends who always stop bugging me whenever I answer their query with "What love life?" ^_^

From me to my brother's ears (and beyond)

I've heard my bother's side of the story. I understand but do not agree with his course of actions.

If only I am given the chance to have my say, I'll tell my brother:

Be sure that the choices and actions you do at the time being serve as your stepping stone to a brighter future, and definitely not otherwise.

If things are getting a bit tougher along the way, don't hesitate to have a break. A breather will clear your mind and will help you decide on the right and best alternate route to take.

It is okay to take risks, but make sure it is the calculated ones---risks to your advantage.

Also, keep in mind that the accountability to every thing you do is solely yours ( Blame and escape goating is not part of the equation).

It is not too late for a change.

I hope my bro will open his mind and consider this perspective.

Sun smile before dusk

10 July 2009, around 6PM. It was heartwarming to see striking, yellow-orangish rays of the sun after a heavy rain and before it finally set for the night. It was a sun smile before dusk.

The weather, here in Tanauan, for the past few days was "Sunny in the morning and rainy in the afternoon". Weather for July 10 was no exception.

When it rains, it pours. It usually rain for long hours and then drizzle at night. Rain leaves me feeling gloomy (and I admit it, sleepy too) and makes me think that the remaining office hours too tedious.

Something deviate from the ussual wether pattern last July 10. The rain will stop before dawn, giving way to the beautiful smile of the sun. The rays of the sun was striking yellow-orangish as it bid good bye before it set.

It seems that the sun is trying to tell me that there is hope and beauty every after storm. Indeed. As I look around, I noticed how fresh-looking the plants are. The ambiance is better, the air was cooler.

Maybe it is true that something good is being cooked during bad times. Just wait and see.

As Ms. Jo said, be thankful for the storm.

^_^

An abused word

I have observed that for the past few days my boss did not utter her most used---but I consider it as her most abused--- word:



I am glad she did not use this word anymore. Actually, I am hoping that it is now non-existent in her vocabulary. Why not? I was greatly affected everytime she mention the "nakaka______" word. It seems that I absorb her irritation, leaving me with a gloomy feeling and dispositon.

The absence of this word in our office is a great relief. *sigh* But the question is "until when?"


My question was answered last saturday afternoon, 20 May 2009. My boss said her most used/abused word, but in another form.



She uttered the word, or should I say the phrase, about five times. I am proud to say that I did not let her irritation affect me.

Maybe, posting a blog about this matter was not a good omen on my wishful thinking. *hehehe* ^_^

I got this list from Ms. Roleth's blog:

Top reasons why ladies today are still SINGLE

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don’t think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKETHE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.


NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with."

Honestly, I am still thinking which is, or should I say which are, applicable to me...

I think, Nos. 3, 4, 8, and 9 are applicable to me.
Duh, am I this deperate? *sigh*

BTW, to all single ladies there, what is your say on this matter?

Sand Paper

When people hurt you over and over, think of them like sand paper. They may scratch a bit, but in the end, you will end up polished and they will end up useless.

Loveleen sent me this message thru SMS last night. I repiled with how I perceive the it. We end up discussing our viewpoint regading it.

My viewpoint
There are times when some people may belittle, challenge, hurt, and leave us down and marred. This is excuses no one. I will tell you not to be mad or hurt, because both are the common and expected reaction/s. However, we should not remain angry at the doer of err and over the unpleasant thing itself. Instead, be challenged to prove to yourself and to others that you derserve far better than how you were initailly treated.

Keep in mind:

There are positive things which we may get from the unpleasant things that happen to us. It is a matter of perspective.

This SMS leaves to us two questions:
"Will I let myself be a sand paper most of the time?"
"How am I going to view the hurtings I feel?"

I admit, there are times when I am the sand paper who cause grief to other people. I do not want to be one most of the time.

How about you, how do you perceive a sand paper?

photo credit

On Chances and Moments

My friend Carl sent me this reminder thru SMS:

If you have a chance to take the moment that you know will be memorable, grab it.
Always think that the word NEXT TIME is always too far.
Every moment counts.

Indeed. It is Carpe diem in all ways and always.

Take risks!

Erich Segal's Prizes

What are your prizes? Among those prizes, which do you consider as the dearest?

The story revolve on the strenuous lives of three scientist Adam, Sandy and Isabel who vied for the Nobel Prize (laureate in Physics, Chemistry, Literature and Medicine). Their dedication and passion for what they do were clearly depicted in the story so as their struggles in search for love and recognition.

There are two things I love about this book:
* the bits of learning I had about the Nobel prize
* a peek on the prize (I mean the lives) of those who work to earn a
Nobel laurete

Erich Segal's Prizes made me ponder and assert to myself those I held as my prizes--- my family, my friends, my career.

How about you, What are your prizes?

Two Contrasting Sentences

I receive this message thru SMS from Mhaleen:


* World's most beautiful sentence: "But, I Love You..."

* World's most painful sentence: "I Love You, But.."


The message ended with the question: "Make sense?"

My answer is a BIG YES, the two contrasting sentences made sense(I kept my answer within me coz no one have asked me face to face, yet). However, I find it unfair that a feels-so-good four-words sentence can easily be jumbled into a heart-breaking statement. *sigh*

How about you?

Something for Christmas

I received this text message from Irene last night. It was the most beautiful and meaningful CHRISTMAS for me.

C - Christ gave
H - Himself as
R - Reminder so that
I - Individuals know the
S - Sacrifices
T - That He did for
M - Mankind to
A - Acheive the gift of
S - Salvation

Now I am wondering whose brainchild is this...

Another Image of Poverty

I received an email about the 2008 Blog Action day wrap up. It showed list of blogs that supported this year's topic (the list were divided into different category). The blog title which caught my attention was 17 Images of Poverty by digital photography school. The blog showcased a collection of pictures highlighting the different faces of poverty. Among the snap shots, I was moved most by the image taken by Thomas Hawk. The man named Christopher clasped his hands as if praying (but it actually tells a different story). It left me thinking that in a way, I am also in poverty--- I am poor in terms of spirituality. There are times that I feel lost... that I don not have enough faith to hold on to(though I am no atheist)...

Last April I told Reynan about my delimma on this particular matter. He only looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. Then our conversation went about other matters. I do not know if He took my disclosure as a joke or He simply opted not to make any comment since we were only newly-acquainted then (maybe it is high time I ask him again regarding his say).

I think I can claim (but not proud to do so) that I am a living image of poverty. I am no frequent-reader of the Bible, I do not attend mass whenever I do not feel I am ready enough for the eucharist, and I feel I do not have enough faith in God. These things alarm me. These things made me realize that I need to seek help---Well, I did. I asked God's enlightenment and maybe Thomas Hawk's "Christopher" is one of God's way of telling me that knowing my need (a stronger faith) and shortcomings is the first step in rising up from the poverty of faith.

Any help?

Dreams

Ms. Fe (our HRMD Manager) asked me to post this words to ponder in the bulletin board. It is nice and worth sharing. Here it is:

"Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born."
- Dale E. Turner

Indeed we can and may have myriads of dreams, big and small, all through out our life. The dreams we weave give us something to look forward to, something to hold on. Dreams give us hope. Dreams-come-true give us immeasurable gratification and even sense of accomplishment.
I believe that dreaming is something we should never stop doing and never cease achieving.

Dream big... Dream the attainable dreams...

What do you currently dream about?

Constantly Reminded

I cannot understand why I am constantly reminded of events, people or things which I actually try to forget. On the most uneventful and unexpected moments episodes from my past suddenly pop-up on my consciousness and presto! I am left pondering and making wishlist or "what ifs."

I do not like it. It is not because I am not good at thinking (I firmly believe otherwise) but because it keeps me hanging or worrying. Such pondering moments only make me sick. It is not because I do not like the idea of thinking about events, people or things from my past because they are not good to think about, it is rather a living reminder that I have a lot of wants that, unfortunately, too far-fetch for me to reach and have for keeps.

See, I am starting to sound pathetic. Here's a period (.) for my dilemma.


....but it keeps me reminded of...

Tangible reminders and Self-regard

Luanne Rice’s Follow the stars Home evolved on the lives of four females who struggle in order to savor the gift of love each of them deserves:

* Dianne, left by her husband giving birth to a sick child, and years later faced with a possibility of second chance at love with her brother-in-law.

* Lucinda, an adoptive child of violent parents was given hope by her belief on kindred spirits which she had read from Anne of Green Gables. She is Diannes mother.

* Amy, age 2, loves her clinically depressed mother dearly but hardly feels loved back. She found a mother image in Dianne and a friend in Julia.

* Julia, age 11 is Dianne’s daughter who is inflicted with Rhett’s syndrome. Her reactions were assumed to show affection for Ammy.

As a gift on Lucinda’s retirement as librarian, Diane took her mother, Julia and Amy to prince Edward island, the setting of Anne of green Gables. When they were about to leave the old apple-tree gardens of Lucy Maud, Amy suggested they take something for souvenirs. She gathered four withered-up apples ---apples with struck out stems and smelled like vinegar or wine. Dianne asked Amy why she took old apples. Amy said “They’re us.” Lucinda explained that the apples are ugly, unlovable things lying on the ground… until someone picked them up. The apples are tangible reminders of who they were and who they love. Personally, I take the sponge as a tangible representation of who I am. Like the sponge, I absorb as long as I can hold. I absorb even those that leave stains to the extent of my limit until someone, usually a confidant, squeeze me little by little so I could pour out whatever I had absorbed and so I may breathe. When I am back in shape, I am ready again to absorb.

Upon reading this novel, I have realized that the story offers more than touch and warmth on one’s heart, it conveys an outlook in life that enhances one’s self-regard (also self-worth) or how one see him/herself. The four heroine’s withered apples reminded me that ugly things or painful experiences in naked eyes are all only skin-deep---their effects disappear in time, they heal. Introspection made me understand that unpleasant things occur in order to bring out the beauty and luster within me. Besides, I am the one who know and see the beauty and worth in me, who else? I am the one who should initiate the discovery of my worth so others will also know.

In all the hurtful and disagreeable things that happen to me (us) how will be able to start to appreciate and see the positive side of things? I remember one session I, and the rest of my batch mates, had with bro. Boy. He told us to hug ourselves tightly or cuddle a pillow whenever we feel so lonely, unloved, and down so as to give ourselves the warmth we need--- it works!, at least on my part. The rationale is that we feel secured and attached by being hugged or cuddled. It is a relief to put into words how I feel; that despite the difficulties I encounter I still feel needed, appreciated, loved, useful, and kept --- and I know I be worthy of all these… I regard myself as I deserve.

Threshold

I was and is very happy before,during, and after the commencement exercises. I started to ask some of my friends to write some message for me before the processional, specifically at the tent area, and during the distribution of diploma (uhu! how dare me..heheeheh).

Anyway, the geust speaker, Dr. Flores, gave a very inspiring message. Let me quote the two guiding principle I got from her which I will forever live by.

"Go for Flow" - We should always go for what will make us better individuals. Do not be stagnant, drive for success.

"Attitude can make and unmake things or events." - It is not mere interest or passion that will make us stable in our chosen paths,; but rather our attitude towards work and the people around us.

I also intently listen to Raegan capuno's message in behalf of the graduating class. As he proceed with his speech, my college years flash into my consciousness like a mini-flick. Everything went fast, yet vivid. To quote him, it is education that made us for who and what we are at the moment (let me add, and who and what we will be as we struggle in the real world).

I was not that touched with the said two speeches, however, I was reminded that graduation day is indeed the threshold of evry graduating students, a time to finally make up his mind on what to think and how to percieve the real world that awaits us.

Honestly, I was touched in a greater degree by the presentation (ppt or movie maker) showed as we, graduates, sang our grad song... It inculcated in me the joys truimphs of tertiary schooling outside the four corners of the classrooms.

I did not cry all through out and after the ceremony just like my friends (I am uncertain whether this is something to be proud of). Unexpectedly, the next morning I woke up crying after dreaming. Well this is another story.

What made the day extra special is that I was able to mingle with my other co-graduates who were not really close to me as we exchange goodlucks and prayers for each other.

Quo vadis Renin/ FAITH 2007 graduates? To success!

AD Astra First Asia!

thesis submitted

We have submitted our respective thesis yesterday. *sigh*

What a relief that we no longer have to worry about a pending due (with exception to our sempsych grade)... ^_^

The Saving Graces

Getting hold of Patricia Gaffney's The Saving Graces is very timely. The twist and turn of the story made me more optimistic regarding the relationship I have with my colleagues/classmates/friends whom I would certainly seldom meet and be with after our graduation on April 21.

The four women characters of the story faithfully meet once a week to discuss anything under the sun. They shared laughter, truimphs, dreams, failures, and gossips. They face every challenge as a group, though a cliche exist once in a while. They are alwayson each others side. They are all and one. This kind of relationship is somethingworth having and keeping. *sigh*

I am ardently praying that we, FAITH AB Psychology 2007, namely, Liz, July, Jen, Yen, Cel, Renin, Karen, Emy, Sarah, Hanzel and Love, will stay in touch no matter what, as each of us struggle in the juggle of real world. I am hoping that we will not simply settle with exchange of calls, text messages or emails, but rather find time to meet even once in a blue moon.

Reflecting thoroughly, I have realized that it is not the time spent with each other, but rather the essence of our friendship that is kept ablazing in our hearts that matters most. Yes! togetherness counts in maintaining friendship, but onlyto an extent; it is still the bond of love that makes friends tightly connected. Now, what I should pray for is God's will for us, AB Pasaway stick with each other... til the end.

This is not a simple wishful thinking. I firmly believe that we will forever be glued with each other.

God bless to all of us, Pasaway!

^_^

Take Risks!

Miss Ann asked me to encode the module she’ll use for tomorrow’s Faculty Development Program.

Here is one topic that struck me most. It is a reiteration of what i have learned in the “Healing of Memories seminar” which is to take risk.


Only One who Risk is Free
(unknown)

To laugh is to risk appearing the
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out is to risk involvement
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before the crowd is to risk their love
To love is to risk not being love in return.
To hope is to risk despair
To try is to risk failure

But the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The one who risk nothing does nothing and has nothing and finally is nothing.

He may avoid sufferings and sorrow.
But he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow or love.
Chained y his certitude, he is a slave; he has forfeited freedom.

Only One Who Risk is Free!

Adversity Quotient

Ms. Ann gave Adversity Quotient as our research first topic in Seminar in Psychology. She asked us to make a reaction. Here is the one I made.

It was inculcated in me that “failure is not falling down, it is staying down.” Things, whether or not favorable for me, happen for a reason; it is something I should face, learn from, and overcome.

However, there are things easily said than done. I admit that I tend to accept and deal better with happy times than with gloomy times. It is hard and feels bad to be disappointed by one’s own short-comings. It is distressing and morale- degrading. Worse, there are times that self-blame prevails. When it comes to this point, a person, including myself, may be too down to perform and function for the betterment, if not for the best, in reaching for his goal. This may leave him stagnant, futile, and unproductive which is exactly an adverse action and reaction in striving for success. This is alarming, something to be attended with enough attention.

On the other hand, there are people whose spirits are boosted up by misfortunes in life. They are the ones who learn and strive more to improve themselves. They are the ones who do not easily give up. They are the ones who do not have “crying over spilled milk” in their vocabulary. They are the ones who get better ideas from the hardships they encounter. The phrases “I give up”, “This is al I can do”, “I can’t make it” seem to be non-existent to them. They are the people who make something positive and reinforcing out of their hardships. They are the ones who are not overwhelmed by their problems, but are rather inspired by those to achieve something better for themselves or the people around them.

They are the ones who are more likely to succeed in reaching for their dreams. They are the ones whom live life to the full. This is exactly what Adversity quotient is all about.
Adversity quotient deals with one’s ability to handle the harsh conditions that comes his way. It is ones ability to move on and conquer the difficulties he has. It is all about resilience. Knowing ones level of AQ, its root factors, its building bocks and its core dimensions will help him overcome his frustrations and helplessness. This will help a person focus more on his strengths and goals. Improving ones AQ will facilitate a person in turning the adversities he encounters into his advantages. A person aware about his AQ have enough attention on how to device strategies and be responsible and flexible enough in achieving his dreams.

Understanding more about AQ taught many significant insights. Things do not always come the way we expect them to. We must be able to deal with them, be flexible enough in turning in every twist and turns of life (setting aside the phrase “I give up”) in order to achieve our goals. Life’s journey is not a smooth and straight path, it is, at times, narrow, bumpy and rough road which we should be able to cope with. If you fail to accomplish what you are apt to, don’t stop and dwell on it. It’s not the end of the world. Learn from it. Look for the positive side it offers. Be resilient (use you IQ, EQ and AQ). Do not be afraid to try or resort to another avenue of life. Who knows, your alternative route may end out as your road to success.

It’s mind over matter!

Five People You Meet in Heaven

I was unable to post articles for half- a- month already due to time restriction (I prefered to sleep than to encode). But I wouldn't say that things that occured are not that worth-while, it's actually the exact opposite.

I believe that everything and every individual that comes our way are constituents of our life's journey. They are the pieces are hone and bind us into who we are and who we are going to be. They make our life's jigsaw puzzle complete. They are part, both directly and indirectly, of how we live our lives.

Mitch Albom's The Five People You Meet in Heaven depicts how one's life is affected by the way other people [around us] we encounter and vice versa. The story reminds us to be sensitive enough in dealing with our neighbors. Reading between the lines, I have realized that getting-to-know the people we interact with is not simply a courteous act, it is living a good life. The things we chose to do and not to do impinge on other people's lives too, not only ours.

We should bear in mind: the people we meet don't just come and go; they leave a mark that remains in the blueprint of our lives.